Jimmy Kimmel Live! Jokes

About Best Countries Rankings

"I have many important topics to cover tonight, not the least of which is something called the Best Countries report. This is a ranking of all the top countries in the world. It's determined by a group that includes the Wharton School of business and U.S. News & World Report.

 

They released their findings at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland today, and according to them the best country in the world is . . . anyone? Germany. Although at first Steve Harvey said Colombia and everyone got excited. [Laughter] [Cheers and applause] It's Germany, is the best country in the world. Germany came in first, Canada was second, the United Kingdom ranked third, and we checked in after that, the United States finished fourth. I tell you what when Donald Trump finds out about this he is . . . going to sell a lot more hats, that's for sure. . . . 

 

How did we get beat by Germany? We have movie stars, we have Disneyland, we have Costco. They have this. This is -- I think this is their president. That's their leader. His name is Hosen. Anyway, congratulations to them, I guess.

 

Not that it's any consolation but North Korea did not make the list of the world's best countries. They're working on it though. North Korea claims -- and I know that is a shaky way to start a sentence -- but North Korea claims to have invented a type of alcohol that will not give you a hangover. Instead of sugar they make it using rice. Well, this is the drink. It's called Coreo liquor, it has an alcohol content of 30-40%, and you won't get a hangover, they say, if you drink it.

 

In North Korea, by the way, a hangover is when the rope breaks on the first attempt. Then they do a . . . . With all the problems in North Korea, how are hangovers even on the list? In North Korea when you order a shot you better duck."